Can parents become godparents to their child? Who should you not take as godparents to your child? How christenings were celebrated in ancient times

Baptism is the most significant event in the life of every Orthodox person. And of course, you need to take a responsible approach to choosing godparents. After all, they are second parents and play an important role in a person’s life. There are many superstitions about godparents. And many people wonder: who can be a godfather and who cannot. Let's try to answer the most frequently asked questions on this topic.

Can children be godparents?

According to church rules, children from the age of seven already bear full responsibility for their actions. They are no longer allowed to take communion without confession. Therefore, if a child is sufficiently churched, he can become a godfather. But when choosing a child as godparent, think carefully. The godmother or father must raise their godson in the Orthodox faith, and the child himself is still just learning the basics of Orthodoxy. Still, it is better to choose an adult, accomplished person as godparents. After all, if something happens to the child’s blood parents, the minor will not be able to take responsibility for the godson. If you nevertheless decide to take a minor as godparents, it is better that this is a child who has reached the age of 15.

Can there be one godfather?

There are situations when a christening has already been scheduled, an agreement has been made with the priest and guests have been invited, but one of the godparents cannot attend the baptism. Or you couldn’t find a second receiver at all. What to do in such a situation? The Church allows baptism with one godparent. The second one can be recorded in absentia on the baptismal certificate. But there is one important point here. When a girl is baptized, a godmother must be present, and for a male infant, a godfather must be present. During the sacrament, the godfather (of the same sex as the child) will pronounce on behalf of the baby a vow of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the Creed.

Can a sister be a godmother?

If the sister is a believer, an Orthodox person, she can become a godmother. But it is desirable that the godmother is already quite an adult, because she will have to bear responsibility not only for herself, but also for her godson. Many who have adult sisters take them as godparents. After all, no one will take care of a godson like a loved one.

Can an ex-husband be a godfather?

It's more of a moral issue. If you have excellent friendly relations with your ex-husband, and he is not the natural father of your child, he can become a godfather. But if your ex-husband is the child’s natural father, then he cannot be the adopter, since natural parents cannot be the adopter of their child. Well, again, the godfather becomes practically a relative, so discuss with your current husband whether he will be against your such a close relationship with your ex-husband.

Can the godfather's wife be a godmother?

The godfather's wife cannot be a foster child if we are talking about the same baby, since the church prohibits spouses from being foster children of the same child. During the sacrament, they acquire a spiritual connection, which means that there cannot be an intimate relationship between them.

Can a brother be a godfather?

A sibling or cousin can become a godfather. The Church does not prohibit close relatives from being godparents. The only exceptions are the child's parents. Grandmothers, brothers, aunts and uncles can be godparents. The main thing is that these people are Orthodox, baptized, and take a responsible approach to fulfilling the duties of godparents. That is, to teach a child the basics of Orthodoxy and raise him to be a believer, an honest and decent person.

Can husband and wife be godparents?

During the baptismal ceremony, a woman and a man become spiritual relatives, which means they cannot be married. Because marriage implies physical intimacy, which cannot exist between spiritual parents.

If the godmother and godfather are spouses, they are prohibited from participating in the sacrament of baptism of one child. Moreover, a man and woman cannot baptize the same child if they are just planning to get married. If they do become godparents of one baby, they will have to give up close relationships in favor of raising a godson.

A husband and wife can baptize children from the same family. A man can become the godfather of one child, and the wife can become the godmother of another baby.

If a husband and wife unknowingly become the adoptive parents of the same child, the spouses need to contact the ruling bishop. As a rule, there are two ways out of this situation: recognition of the marriage as invalid, or the spouses will be given penance for a sin committed out of ignorance.

Who definitely cannot be a receiver?

Before choosing godparents for your baby, you need to know whom the church clearly prohibits from taking as godparents:

- the child’s blood parents;

- spouses;

- not baptized and atheists;

- people of other religions;

- monks;

- mentally retarded people;

- sectarians.

Choosing godparents is a very important point. And here you need to be guided primarily by the interests of the child, and not by your own. Often, best friends or “necessary” people are chosen as godparents, without really delving into how much the person belongs to the church.

If you want your child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, choose only believers who know prayers and regularly attend church services. If people do not visit the temple and believe, as they say from time to time, then great doubt arises about their serious attitude to the sacrament and their duties.

It often happens that people's paths diverge, and the godfather cannot take part in raising the godson. But he is still responsible for this child, so the recipient must pray for his godson or goddaughter all his life.

Many people think that choosing godparents for their baby is very simple, but it seems so only at first glance. In fact, everything is not like that.

You need to understand that godparents must be responsible for their godson before God. They are responsible for his morality and spiritual education. Godparents are not only good friends, relatives or financially well-off acquaintances - these are the people whom you trust to raise your child, these are the people who can gain authority from the child, and can become a good example for him, spiritual parents . Godparents are the people you can always rely on in difficult times.

The sacrament of baptism occupies a very important place in a person’s life, since it is the second birth of a person, his spiritual birth. Godparents are entrusted with a very great responsibility, responsibility for the spiritual education of their godson (adoptive). For this reason, when choosing godparents, one must be guided by the fact that these people are believers and have high moral qualities.

Godparents for a child cannot be:

Parents of the child himself, as well as people who are related to each other by blood;
Nuns and monks;
Non-believers;
Gentiles, and not only non-Christians, but also heterodox;
Minors (girls under 13 years of age, and boys under 15).
Persons who are married or persons who are going to get married, since in the future the godparents of one child cannot have intimate relationships with each other, because they are spiritually related.
Mentally ill people and people who have fallen morally.

What are the responsibilities of godparents?

The responsibilities of godparents are not at all what they imagine them to be. Many godparents believe that their duty is to give gifts to the child on Angel's Day, birthday and other holidays, to visit their godson (goddaughter) from time to time, and to maintain good relations with the child's parents. Of course, all this should also be present, but this is far from the most important. Godparents need to spend time with the baby reading, playing, talking about morality, love, and kindness. They must teach their godson the moral values that every believer should have. Before choosing godparents for your child, ask yourself the question: “will this person pray for my baby?” Yes, after all, prayer for the godson is the main responsibility of the godparent. It is best to choose godparents among close people or among relatives; these should be people who have been tested for years, so that after the christening ceremony they do not disappear for a long time. Godparents must realize that they have great responsibility upon themselves; care and guardianship of the godson must be their desire.

Godparents must be Orthodox believers; they must take their spiritual life seriously. Their calling is to ensure that the child attends church, receives communion, and fasts.

How many pairs of godparents can a child have?

The Christian Church says that a child must have one recipient, but always of the same gender as the person being baptized. A girl must have a godmother, and a boy must have a godfather. But most often the child has both godparents. Also, one child can have more than one pair of godparents. But parents must understand that the fewer godparents a child has, the more responsible and serious they will take their responsibilities.

What godparents need to have during the baptism ceremony

The godmother must have baptismal clothes, which she buys in advance;
The godfather must have a pectoral cross, and he is also supposed to pay for the ceremony;
Godparents must have a pectoral cross on themselves, since without it they will not be allowed to the Sacrament;
Godparents must know the prayer “I Believe” (preferably by heart, but if not, then at least be able to read it).

How many times during a lifetime can a person be a godfather?

The Orthodox Church does not have a clear definition on this issue. The most important thing is that the person who agrees to be a godparent remembers that he takes on great responsibility and is responsible for his godson before God. The measure of this responsibility can determine how many times during his life a person can take on such a responsibility. This measure is individual for each person.

They say that if you cannot refuse the offer to become godparents. For this reason, in order to avoid an unpleasant outcome, it is best to first ask the prospective candidate if there is a desire to baptize your baby.

Since ancient Rus', our country has had a tradition of baptizing children, without giving them the opportunity to choose another faith.

Thus, in Russia, the majority of citizens adhere to the Orthodox faith.

In order to baptize a child, it is necessary to choose godparents. And the Orthodox Church strictly sets the requirements for who can be godparents, so it is important to know and follow these rules.

The sacrament itself is performed directly in the church. There are no age restrictions for joining Orthodoxy, so this ritual can be performed by a person at any age.

But according to Russian customs, parents of newborns try to baptize their children in the first year of life. Thus, they place their baby under the protection of the Almighty.

Godparents must be present during the baptism ceremony. They are considered to be people who are in spiritual closeness with their godson. They should be the child's mentors in the future.

At the same time, it is believed that it is not at all necessary that there be two parents. One is enough, but for boys there must be a godfather, and for girls a godmother.

The presence of the parents in the church is not necessary, but if the child is small, then it will be much calmer for him to be close to his family in an unfamiliar place.

During the baptism process, the godparent must hold the child and be constantly with him. If the baby is small, then he is completely immersed in holy water.

If a person is already an adult, then he simply must plunge his head three times into holy water. After bathing the child, the godparent must pick him up, dry him and put on new clothes.

Before choosing godparents for your child, as well as agreeing to become a godfather for someone, it is important to understand the very essence of this rite and your further responsibilities towards the godson.

You cannot simply attend the ceremony and then forget about the responsibility to the child that is assigned by faith.

Baptism itself is called the second birth of a person. At this moment his spiritual world is born. Since faith implies that the life of the soul does not end after death, being in a human body, it should not accumulate sins within itself.

That is why the church imposes the following responsibilities on godparents:

The problem of many families in the modern world is that their children undergo the rite of baptism, but in fact they do not see the embodiment of Christian ideas in the family.

If the family is not involved in the faith, and even more so if the basic commandments are violated, it will be much more difficult for the child to perceive life in accordance with these commandments.

Most churches now do not perform the baptism ceremony until the godparents have completed special courses.

This measure was created so that people are aware of the full responsibility of this step and are able to refuse before they assume their responsibilities to the Almighty.

After completing the courses, people become truly ready for the sacrament, and they understand what they should do after baptism throughout their lives.

Knowing all the responsibilities assigned to godparents, you need to choose those people who are most suitable for fulfilling them.

But it is also important to consider certain points:

The religion of the godparents themselves.
Family connection with the future godson.
The family connection between the godparents themselves.
Special periods for women.
Age of godparents.

To take these features into account, you need to know who cannot be godparents according to church laws:

The question also often arises about whether it is possible to be pregnant at the sacrament of baptism? The Church does not prohibit the entry of women carrying a child under their hearts, and also does not prohibit becoming a godmother.

Knowing all these features, as well as your close circle of friends and family, it can be quite difficult to choose someone.

Very often it turns out that among the possible options for godparents there are the same people for many relatives and friends.

Therefore, it turns out that the same person is often offered to become godfather several times for different children.

And two main questions arise:

This is why courses for godparents, now organized by many churches, are important. Because, despite the fact that in 2019 it is becoming increasingly fashionable to baptize a child, as well as assign him influential godparents, the most important thing is forgotten, this is the essence of baptism itself.

The financial status of the appointed godparent is not so important as his lifestyle, which must comply with biblical covenants.

The godparent must be a spiritual mentor and show his godson by example how to live and what spiritual principles must be observed in any situation.

It is also important to know that you cannot change godparents after baptism.. Chosen parents become parents for life. Sometimes it happens that after baptism the godparent greatly changed his lifestyle for the worse.

But in this case, the godson himself and his parents must pray for the godparent’s deliverance from sins and try to put him on the right path.

No one has the right to refuse such a godparent. It is impossible to re-baptize. Therefore, it is very important to choose reliable godparents for your children.

However, in cases where the godparent renounced Orthodoxy, accepted another faith, or became an atheist, then such a sacred union will be considered dissolved.

Similarly, we can evaluate those cases when the godparent has sunk to the most forbidden sins, which are prohibited by the Testaments.

In this case, it is implied that this person does not want to live according to the precepts of the Bible, and also does not want to be an example for his godson.

In this case, the natural parents can ask other godly people to take charge of their child's spiritual lifestyle. It is imperative to inform the holy father about this situation before the ceremony itself.

Many godparents like to pamper their godchildren with expensive gifts in order to win their favor and bring them closer spiritually.

But you need to understand that this is not the purpose of godparents. Parents should not choose godparents based on the size of their wallet.

The best gifts that the church mentions are:

This is exactly what gifts from godparents to their godchildren should look like. But besides this, the church does not prohibit giving other gifts that will delight the child. But still, the main emphasis should be placed on the spiritual education of the godson.

It is also believed that the most important date for giving is the name day of the godson’s guardian angel. During the sacrament of baptism, a person who converts to Orthodoxy receives a second name.

It may coincide with his real name, if this name is in the Orthodox book of names. And if the name is missing, then the child will be assigned a different name from this book.

Each such name has a name day date. If the selected name has several dates during the year when name days are celebrated, the date closest to the Orthodox person’s birthday is selected. It is on this date that godparents must give gifts to their godson.

Knowing all the nuances of the sacrament, as well as the requirements of the church for godparents, it is important to approach the choice of a godparent very responsibly.

It is better to make them a responsible relative than an influential family friend. Because financial values in this case are not as important as spiritual ones.

Video: Godparents. Responsibilities of a godfather. Baptism in church

It is one of the most important in the days preceding the performance of this great sacrament. The path of spiritual growth that he has to go through largely depends on how successful the choice of the child’s parents is. Therefore, we will try to fully understand this issue and, if possible, avoid mistakes.

When should a baby be baptized?

The first and most important event in the life of a newborn is the rite of holy baptism. There is no strictly established rule regarding how many days after the baby is born it should be performed. But taking into account the spiritual significance of the sacrament, it is recommended not to postpone it for a long time without serious reasons, and to try to have the sacrament performed in the first year of the child’s life.

Both in the process of performing the ritual and in the further spiritual life of the newly baptized, an important role is played by the godparents assigned to him, who take upon themselves the responsibility of raising him in the spirit of Orthodoxy. That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child so that in the future they can fully fulfill the mission entrusted to them becomes important.

Who can't be one of the godparents?

It should be noted that there are certain restrictions when appointing godparents. First of all, the parents of the child themselves and, in addition, persons who are related, cannot play this role. Also, church rules prohibit entrusting this to people who are married to each other or intend to enter into it after some time. The reason here is quite obvious. - these are people who are in a spiritual relationship, and physical intimacy between them is unacceptable.

Continuing the conversation about how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to emphasize that they cannot be all kinds of people of other faiths, including even Christians of other denominations (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, etc.). And, of course, this should not be trusted to people who are not believers at all or who declare their faith, but are not baptized and do not attend church.

As for the age restrictions imposed on possible candidates, girls can be godparents from the age of thirteen, and boys from the age of fifteen. It is believed that, subject to correct and proper religious education at this age, they are already able to understand the responsibility entrusted to them and, over time, become their godson.

And finally, from the number of possible candidates, persons suffering from mental illness should be excluded, since they cannot be held responsible for their actions, and those who lead an immoral (from the church and universal point of view) lifestyle. Monks and nuns also cannot be godparents.

Who should you choose?

However, the question of how godparents are chosen for a child is not limited to just the list of those who are not suitable for this role. Something else is much more important. You should know who can be chosen as godparents for a child, and in this regard there are no clearly defined boundaries, but only recommendations based on the life experience of previous generations of Orthodox Christians.

Before you choose someone, you should first of all think about whether they will pray all their lives for their godson or goddaughter, because this is precisely one of their main responsibilities. This is especially important in the first years after baptism, since the child is still small and cannot turn to the Creator in prayer. In addition, it is generally accepted that the prayer of those who received the baby from the holy font has a special power of grace and is heard.

Any relative of the child can become a godson, regardless of a friend of his parents or simply someone they know and respect. But at the same time, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by whether the chosen one will be a good adviser and a good spiritual educator of the child.

In order to more fully understand how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to outline the range of responsibilities that are assigned to each of them. This will help to avoid in the future many griefs and disappointments associated with haste and ill-conceived decisions.

According to existing tradition, godparents must go to church a day or two before the sacrament and confess and receive communion there in order to remove the burden of earthly sins that could interfere with the establishment of spiritual unity with the godson. Directly on the day of baptism, they impose a voluntary fast on themselves, excluding both eating and performing marital duties.

During the sacrament, the “Creed” is read, and if the ritual is performed over a girl, then the godmother reads the prayer, and if over a boy, then the godfather. In this regard, it is important to prepare carefully, memorize the text and ask the priest in advance when to read the prayer and how.

Choosing the right godparents for a child is extremely important in relation to the help that is expected from them during the ceremony itself. And first of all, this applies to the godmother. She, among other things, must take care of the gift for the child and the various things necessary for performing the sacrament, such as a baptismal shirt, a towel and, of course, a pectoral cross that will be worn on him. By the way, it should be noted that during the sacrament her presence is necessary, while the godfather can only participate in it in absentia.

Psychological aspect of choosing a godmother

It is also very important to take into account that after washing in the font, the child is picked up by his godmother, and care must be taken to ensure that this does not cause stress for the baby. It is highly desirable that the candidate for this role has held him in her arms before, and he is familiar with her features. The same can be said about the godfather. In the entire range of issues related to how godparents are chosen for a child, this occupies one of the main places.

Responsibility for the subsequent spiritual life of the child

According to church teaching, the child’s connection with those who received him from the holy font is considered even closer than with the real parents who gave him life. They will have to answer for him at the Last Judgment, and therefore it is their duty to constantly take care of the spiritual growth of their godson.

This side of their responsibilities to him and to the church includes not only conversations on religious topics that can expand the godson’s knowledge of Orthodoxy, but also introducing the child to attending church and participating in divine services. Moreover, in order to achieve the best result, godparents must steadily increase their own spirituality and be a living and convincing example for the child.

Replacement of faith with ritual belief

It is very unfortunate that today the true Christian faith is often replaced by the so-called ritual faith. Leaving aside the foundations of the teachings of Jesus Christ, who preached humanism, sacrifice in the name of one’s neighbor and repentance as the means of acquiring the Kingdom of God, people hope to receive immediate earthly blessings by performing certain ritual actions.

If such naivety was excusable to the ancient pagans due to their ignorance, now that the Lord has given us the Holy Gospel, we can only regret those who, when asked why they baptize a child, without hesitation, answer: “So that he doesn’t get sick.” And it's all! Not a word about the fact that they desire his unity in the Spirit of God with the Creator of the Universe and the possibility of his inheriting Eternal Life.

How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?

In addition, in recent years it has become fashionable, and they are often carried to the holy font by unbelieving parents, doing this only in order to keep up with others. Despite this, the church welcomes the baptism of a newborn, regardless of the reasons that guided his parents, although he wishes them to take a more responsible approach to the holy sacrament, which is the spiritual birth of their little person.

That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child acquires special importance, because it is they who, with their religiosity, can make up for what the real father and mother are not able to give. His decision cannot contain any general advice, since in each case it is individual and depends on the environment of relatives and friends in which the young parents live. It is among these people that one should look for those who, with their faith, are able to help a child take the path of spiritual growth.

A question born of superstition

Sometimes you hear a rather strange question about how to choose godparents for a child and, in general, is it possible to perform this sacrament in a year that has February 29 in its calendar? This question is strange, first of all, because, according to the clergy themselves, in the Orthodox Church there is no such thing as a leap year, and therefore there are no restrictions associated with it, be it weddings, christenings or other sacraments. The popular belief that it brings misfortune is the fruit of superstition and empty speculation. Believers should have in themselves only the fear of God and hope in His mercy, and not the fear of some signs.